COP15 Day 1 Wrap-up

Hello again comrades,

Well underneath all the saccharine-sweet media gushing enthusiasm – Day One of Copenhagen has already devolved into arguments and acrimony both new and old.

I was there before 9am. We spend our time between observing inside the back of main plenary, running back and forth to various briefings and small discussions held by various NGO’s of all sorts (and running from NGO’s, social movements, Gongos, Bingos, Ringos, Engos, Tungos, and Youngos – the veritable gauntlent) and from the countries (the “parties”), surfing about online in the media center – which often gives us a better wider view than being here on the inside, and occasionally lounging in the cafes in the center of which offered surprisingly edible food at not-so-very-outrageous prices.

Right from the start the delegate of Papua New Guinea, speaking for the AOSIS (Alliance of Small Island States or “little Atlantis”, as I like to call them) has been making a lot of angry noise (understandably) and essentially threatening to walk and sign nothing if the commitment the rest of the world makes is to try (operative on the “try” and not very hard at that) to limit to 2.0C rise rather than 1.5C rise (which Atlantis thinks has a chance of keeping them from a watery grave).

At the US’s insistent urging, the Phillippines dropped Bernarditas de Castro Muller who was speaking for them and as the general pit bull of the G-77, as she was seen as an “obstacle” for any deal in Copenhagen.  However, evidently Sudan has rehired her and she is speaking for the G77 once again, much to the dismay of the Western delegations.  The “ENFORCER” is back!!! You just can’t keep a good bitch down…

India’s delegation is in shambles as their top two negotiators – Chandrashekhar Dasgupta and P Ghosh, aka “the Sledgehammer”   have so far refused to come, demanding “clarification” from New Delhi, on whether the government which actually follow-through on its per capita convergence principle. Civil War in India

The noxious delegate from Saudi Arabia, Mohammed al-Sabban, (we’ll call him Wormtongue) has been going on the “climate denial” warpath holding pages from the “climategate” leaked emails aloft in the air in smug self-righteousness and biting criticism of “not trusting anything”.  Where is spontaneous human combustion when you need it.

Meanwhile the Russophobic British rag, “the Independent” is blaming Russia for the leaked climategate emails (never mind that the Independent are essentially climate-deniers themselves..lmfao). Their allegations are founded on their “investigation’s” claiming that the server the hackers are traced back to is in Tomsk, Sibera – which means the Soviets, I mean Russian’s must have done it! Damn evil FSB trying to destroy the world again.

I am extremely disappointed to hear that supposedly neither Putin nor Medvedev is coming and  are sending 1st Deputy Prime Minister, Igor Shuvalov, in their place. I most vociferously disapprove – makes us look to the whole world as if we are not taking climate change seriously enough, despite cuts on the table equal to the EU and far better than the US or China. I hope they feel pressured by Peace Prize winner Obama’s visit and decide to show up…

The Sudanese negotiator, Lumumba Stanislaus Di-Aping, said Monday that the proposed $10 billion fund from the West to aid developing countries implement climate change mitigation and adaption  ”will not buy the poor of developing countries coffins, let alone address the serious problems that this challenge is causing.” That is a wicked cool flair for the dramatic…

China is stepping up to the plate of the absent-parent-hegemon the US, and starting to lead the world…

The US negotiator “General” Pershing – is desperately trying to convince everyone that the US isn’t essentially responsible for climate change itself, is on the defensive, and has put on a white cowboy hat crying out to the rest of the world - “But you don’t understand, you’ve got it all wrong –   we are the US and we have Obama now - therefore WE ARE THE GOOD GUYS!”  They have a nifty hanging globe that plays movies in the US Propoganda Pavilion to help them do it. I think it is hypnotising people…

I’ve been attending alot of the Bellona Foundation’s meetings  ( http://www.bellona.org/ http://www.bellona.no/filearchive/fil_Program_Bellonas_Side_events_COP15.pdf ) – as they attract a wide range of serious experts and politico’s. They also have a focus in their NGO work on Russia. So I will be hanging out there a lot. At a meeting they had yesterday, I fried the US Assistant Secretary of Energyon televised broadcast who after gushing about all the great things the US is doing about climate change then foolishly took a question from me, “Mr. Secretary, President Obama has a majority in both houses of Congress and yet is struggling to even get a minimum health-care bill passed, this has stalled carbon emissions cuts legislation. Every likely scenario has the Senate Democrats from coal-producing states revolting and voting with the Republicans to ensure that no such legislation is passed even if it ever gets taken up. The US Chamber of Commerce meanwhile wants to put climate change science on trial in front of the nation as if it was a second “Scopes-Monkey Trial”. And the nation’s press are echoing with the words of Conservative commentator Lou Dobbs, who upon hearing of Obama’s personal commitment to 17% emisssions cuts, said “Who the HELL does he think he is?” My question is – Keeping this in mind, as well as the US’s failure to ever ratify the Kyoto Protocol, why should the other world leaders believe anything President Obama commits to over the next two weeks? Does this mean that American liberal democracy has failed in mustering the political will that authoritarian China has to enact change?”

His answer was, “I think we’ve made a lot of progress”. Period. That’s it. Fucking dodge!!! After that, I had an Indian and a Kazakh delegate coming up to me agreeing completely and wanting to know “What I teach at LSE?”. ROFL!

Protesters were yelling at us as we left “Save your souls and the planet. Eat vegetables not meat!!” I hate broccoli.

We stumbled out after 6, went back to the hostel, zoned for an hour or two and then hit a Turkish restaurant, originally named “Ankara” for a reasonably priced and tasty Turkish buffet. Much very good raki was imbibed.

And for a closing thought – if I see one more friggin advertisement with the Hallmark cliche “HOPEnhagen”, I will seriously retch. Hope is the carrot dangled before the mule to keep it plodding along. Far better to remove the carrot, and stride forth into the harsh glare of reality with our eyes fully open and aware of the grim fate that we are facing…

Signing off for now,

Mark

Note – after my first blog post, the LSE wanted the following disclaimer attached to all COP15 blogposts for the Grimshaw Club (of which mine are the only ones)

Disclaimer:

Any views, ideas or opinions expressed in this blog represent the views of the respective authors only. They do not represent the views of any party present at the COP-15, the LSESU Grimshaw International Relations Club or the London School of Economics and Political Science. The respective authors are solely liable for any damages arising from the reckless posting and publishing of provocative articles and/or comments.